The next chapter.

Over a year ago I created this blog page, which admittedly has not been utilised to it’s full potential but here I am back again. Little did I know a year ago when I starting writing metaphorically about roller-coasters that I hadn’t even got to the big dip yet. Let’s just say it’s been a bumpy one. A ride that started with losing my grandad, dropped further with my dad having a stroke and throw in the final year deadlines and dissertations and you have one hell of a ride! BUT through a steep learning curve, the most amazing friends and some form of miracle – I DID IT! (By ‘did it’ I mean smashed my degree mostly but I guess I ‘did it’ by coming out of the other end so much stronger)

Now in just a few days time I will embark on a 10 week volunteering programme to Rwanda. I mean, who would have thought Miss Planner over here would throw away the job applications and go to another continent?! Eeeek.

I’ve been debating whether to keep this blog for my adventures or start a new one. Despite always being a public blog, I had no intentions of promoting what I wrote whereas now, I want to post regularly of my Rwandan adventures. So I guess I was unsure whether I wanted people reading my previous posts which I dunno, seemed quite personal. Which I know is very ironic as I type on a platform accessible to millions of people. Anyway, I’ve decided to keep this page and my old blog posts. Maybe they will give a little back story. Maybe it will help people understand my journey a little more. Or maybe I’ve worried over nothing and people won’t even read them! Either way, here is to next chapter…

 

Christmas Vs January Exams: 5 Simple ways to help find the balance

It’s Christmas Eve woooo, wack out the mulled wine, the posh biscuits and relax, oh wait… My Christmas Eve currently entails being surrounded by piles of papers, highlighters and glued to my laptop at an attempt to revise for January exams. So how do we enjoy the Christmas festivities without sacrifice doing well in exams? Here’s my top 5 tips:

1. Create a Timetable
   I am all about the lists, the plans, the diaries… honestly, PaperChase is my heaven. But seriously, I can’t begin to explain how being organised is key. Create a timetable, put in all those ‘must-do’ events (by this I mean the Christmas markets, family gatherings, getting drunk with friends etc.). It’s not about having no fun. It’s just being organised to know when you are doing what to gain the balance.
2. Make Plans
   Following on from the last point, you don’t need to sacrifice seeing all your friends and catching up, but make the plans. Work out what you want to do, who you want to see and set in the time. If you’re anything like me, I over-plan and want to do so much and see everyone and do everything. That’s fine. Just be realistic about the time you have. Can you squeeze in two hours before meeting up?
3. Put your phone on Airplane mode
   This works a dream for the above! With the addiction to our phones, it can be difficult but it completely stops you checking Facebook for the 56567 time or spending hours reading through memes. Even if you just do a power hour where you don’t talk to anyone. Ignore the group chats. Forget social media. No, you don’t need to watch that funny cat video…
4. Stop Procrastinating
   Now this is a big one and is easier said than done. Ooo fridge full of food. Ooo the family are going to the supermarket. Ooo what’s this rubbishy Christmas film? I’m not saying don’t relax, just be strict with yourself. If you say it’s time to work, do that and then finish. If you set yourself a goal of what you completed each day, get it done quicker and you’re finished! I do realise I am writing this instead of working but hey, no-one is perfect right?!
5. Don’t Stress, Enjoy it!
   Again, quite easy to say… It’s hard when you are doing fun things to not feel guilty about your lack of working. Go back to number 1, make your plan and do your fun things AND the work. If you plan to enjoy time with your friends, enjoy it!

This will be my final year of Christmas vs January Exams and after doing this since I was 15 I can happily say – I can not wait. I mean there is no pretending it’s the best but hey at least we get a few weeks off rather than just certain days like the working world!
If you’re in the same boat GOOD LUCK! Now back to my work for a last little power hour before signing off for (planned) Christmas. Merry Christmas! 

“You never taught us how to say goodbye”

In my last blog post I mentioned about my grandad passing away. The way I deal with things is to write, I guess that is probably the same for a lot of you on here. I wrote a poem which I read at his funeral. I say read, more cried out. I had practised it SO many times and not shed one tear and then typically on the day, I was there shaking, in streams of tears and voice breaking before I even read the first line. But I did it. Anyway, here is it what I wrote:

It still doesn’t quite seem real, you not being here,
And I know you’re up there watching saying ‘stop with the bloody tears’.
I don’t think you knew how much everyone cared,
Now we are here without you, terrified and scared.
You changed so many lives, just by being you,
Googly eyes and painted nails, just to name a few.
Do you remember when we joked, that your gravestone would be the letter ‘T’?
How you taught us to speak properly so we appeared educated you see.
But let’s not be naive here, you had your moments of being a pain,
With so many of the times that you’d drive us all insane.
I know we will be ok though, because you taught us all so much,
To love, to live, to laugh, just look how many lives you touched.
I guess you never taught us how to say goodbye,
And to say it’s going to be easy would be a damn right lie.
But you left us with so many memories that we will treasure with our hearts,
So watch out for all of us up there, for the time we are apart.

 

My roller-coaster of a term

It’s been a little while since I posted last. I think I’ve been a little scared to let myself sit here and think, a little bit scared of what I might actually type. So here’s a little snippet of my roller-coaster over the past couple of months.

Back to final year, determined to be on top of everything. I got all the books out, I drew out my work plan, got my new diary (look how beautiful it is!!), seriously I’d got my geek on…. Then as life does, it threw this huge spanner in the works. My grandad passed away. It was devastating. Funnily enough writing notes about Game Theory wasn’t quite as high on my priority list. Seeing my grandma, after 63 years of marriage fall to pieces was heartbreaking. Seeing how much she was lost, empty and broken and I couldn’t fix it. I couldn’t fix any of my family’s pain. Speaking at his funeral was the hardest thing I have ever done, if you do want to read, here is what I wrote.

Anyway, as anyone who has lost someone will know, it was so so hard, it’s still so hard. I came back to uni, 300 miles away from my family and I just felt so broken. I’d been the strong one at home, keeping it together for everyone else. But as soon as I let myself breathe, I broke. This all seemed to act like a trigger to deal with other chaos and issues in my life. All that stuff you throw to the back of your mind and never deal with. I like to think of it as a box. I put everything in this box, once it’s in the box I’m fine. I tried to put my grandad’s passing in a box and it just made me the whole box explode. I think pairing with feeling like I have no control over anything. I was now behind on uni, I still have no idea what I’m doing when I graduate, and boys.. let’s not even go there!

So I signed up to counselling. Admitting that you need help is terrifying, but I honestly think it’s going to be the best thing for me. See I think there is this bad perception, but why should there be? Sometimes we aren’t fine. Sometimes we do break. But that’s ok. That is part of life.

It’s getting better. Uni is the thing I do have control of, I decided I don’t need a plan and funnily enough I’m ok with that. I’m going to do some volunteering and internships abroad and some travelling. Oh how cliche for a student eh?! If it was anything my grandad taught me, it was that life is too short and to follow your heart. I want to be remembered for the person that I became, not the job I did. So for now, career is on hold – sorry bank account.

Change the world, one person at a time

One of my many new years resolutions was to watch more TED talks. I love them, yet I don’t make time for them. So I decided to once a week swap 5 minutes of scrolling pointlessly through my Facebook feed, of the posts I have read 3 times already, for a 5 minute video.

I came across one of the most inspiring videos I’ve ever watch this week, to the point even days later I’m still thinking about it. So here I am sharing it with you guys with the off chance that it inspires others in a similar way. Everyday Leadership – Drew Dudley.

I’m not sure what grabbed me most about this video. The truth behind it? The amount of people that have changed my life or maybe I’ve changed other peoples? Or the sheer fact that every single one of us can inspire without having any idea about it.

Even though I don’t really have any idea what I want to do in the bigwideworld, one thing I do know is that I want to inspire people. I want to make a difference in the world. Not in the way of becoming a global leader or the CEO of a huge corporation, but in a way that I make a difference to people’s lives. I want to be one of the people mentioned in the video that changes a complete stranger’s world, that people meet and I bring something positive.

Maybe it’s not the biggest step to adult life but it’s a HUGE one for me. It’s not about changing the world, it’s about changing the lives of some of the people in it. And that’s exactly what I hope to do.

For the first time, I don’t have a plan

Hey!

So this is my first ever blog post… I’ve said for a while I will start a blog, but it’s always been ‘when I have more time’ or ‘after I’ve finished..’ but here I am at probably one of my busiest years yet. With the one promise to myself, not to overthink it – just type.

Like so many others my age, I’ve always known the next step…school, college, uni, grad job – but is that my next step?

I spent the last year working at a global company as part of my placement for university and I really had the best time. As cliche as it sounds, I learnt so much about me and what was really important. Now sitting here, getting my geek on for final year, comes the question – what next?

See this is the year it all kinda comes together (or at least it’s supposed to), the career, the future, the what you’ve been working so hard for but like so many others, I still don’t know.

This blog is going to be my story. My random thoughts and stresses, it’s going to be the juggling of friends, activities and life and its going to be all those random things in between. It’s going to be student life versus the big wide world. For the first time in my life, I don’t have a plan…. let’s see how I get on!

Lots of Northern love,

K x